'Attached' by Amir Levine is the standard on Attachment Theory—but the author himself admits Avoidants deserve more empathy

As someone who earned secure attachment after being dismissive-avoidant, I explain how this attachment style develops through childhood emotional neglect and survival mechanisms. Healing is essential for healthier connections.

Changing the Story for the Next Generation

How reluctance to be in photos reveals deeper fears about intimacy and commitment

Choosing Which Words to Hold and Release

Scarcity masked as abundance skews our calibration, priming us to normalize the bare minimum.

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

Love starvation: when your partner gives you just enough love to keep you hooked...

Do you know what really determines the way someone receives love? Explore with me how our love languages are formed, using my own as an example (Quality Time).

Validating another person makes them feel understood and accepted which is how someone feels loved.

Motivation gives you a reason; Inspiration gives you a feeling.

Have you ever destroyed something in your attempt to make it better?

Withholding potentially hurtful truth is harmful for all parties. Someone may think they are preventing unnecessary conflict by selective omission, but they are really destroying trust. There is no safety without honesty and there is no intimacy without trust.

Ignorance doesn’t absolve you of responsibility. Be humble enough to accept that you inadvertently cause pain and problems. Be compassionate enough to love the ugly parts of yourself. Let go of pride in order to grow in the responsibility that comes with genuine care. 

Keeping the stakes small for the sake of holding onto what little you can get creates an aching void you become afraid to lose. Who is benefiting from walking on eggshells?

Can you tell if your intuition is warning you of danger or if the present situation is triggering something that haunts you from the past?Is it a red flag about your partner or just an orange light for caution?

Distance creates a buffer between fantasy and reality

Unaware we are even numb, we operate...and even love...on autopilot.

It's easier to expose distant relatives than to release skeletons he might have to protect you from.